Context: Driving to a gathering of incoming Prospect Sierra kindergarteners and their families. Eli is whining – “Mommy, why CAN’T I go to first grade?! I really REALLY want tooooo!” “Well, sweetie, it’s because all the kids in your kindergarten class now are a year older than you, and wouldn’t you like being in a class with kids your age?”

Setting: The parents are all out chatting on the deck, sipping mimosas and trending nostalgic, while the kids are playing down by the creek and among the woods. Someone comments how great it is that the kids can go off together and play without us worrying about them…

I decide it’s time to go find Eli, and after wandering around for about 10 minutes, I realize I’ve lost him. Another parent has lost his kid too, so we both decide to get serious and try to find our kids.

Suddenly we hear kids’ voices at the neighbor’s house, and, well, the sound of breaking glass. We arrive to realize that OUR KIDS ARE ON TOP OF THE NEIGHBOR’S HOUSE THROWING BOTTLES OFF THE ROOF! There is broken glass everywhere and the neighbor, understandably, is freaked. I look at the other parent and all the color has drained from our faces. We just can’t believe this is happening!

After making the boys help us clean up all the mess and write apology notes to the neighbors, I turn to Eliot and proudly declare, “THIS is why you are going back to kindergarten!”

Christ!